Hi, I’m Faith. I’m 30 years old, and I’m healing myself. On top of that, I’m writing this blog. This is uncharted territory, so I have no idea if I’ll sink or swim, but I’m diving it anyway. I had been living and, quite frankly, struggling with mental health for the majority of my life. Trying to keep my head above water, but never being able to get my whole self out to actually enjoy living. I had just made it to the surface long enough to gasp for air before drowning back under.
When Did I Know I Was Done Struggling With Mental Health?
The latest episode came to a head a few months ago. Once again, I had been stuck in a period of severe depression and anxiety that seemed to go on forever. I had had experiences in the last year that just kept knocking me further down. Until I reached what felt like, was my rock bottom. Imagine a ceramic vase that had been chipping away until someone took a hammer and shattered it into a million pieces.
That was me. Shattered and broken on my bed.
I went to the hospital, again. Talking to the crisis team, again. Time off work, again. This had happened so many times that I surrendered and realised something needed to be done. I was either going to end it or do everything I needed to do to get better. I finally got the wake-up call I thought I would never get. Life no longer wanted me to change; it demanded me to.
Taking The Steps Towards Healing
I had looked online many times before, desperate for step-by-steps or quick fixes to make me “normal.” I typed in all sorts of thoughts, hoping something or someone would give me an easy answer. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that there is no magic wand to make you “normal.” There is no normal (and that’s a good thing). I’ve also come to realise that it really takes hard work, among a lot of other things.
Practical recommendations I would see mentioned over and over again was journaling. I had dabbled in writing out my thoughts since I was around 10 years old, but I had never been consistent. I would keep it up until I felt okay, and then I would stop. First mistake right there!
It Took An Existential Shift In Mindset
Now, my day consists of meditating and journaling in the morning, listening to motivational videos on my drive to work, doing shadow work (more on this later) on my lunch breaks, and then hopefully meditating again in the evening and completing a gratitude entry before bed. I also add in little self-esteem builders throughout my day and extra tasks to complete throughout my week.
Since working on myself, I’ve definitely noticed a shift in my mindset and how I support myself (both internally and externally). Since I’ve been self-reflecting, I now believe I’m meant to give more than I have been. I’m meant to help more than I have been.
Are You Struggling With Mental Health Too?
This question is what led me to start this blog. I wanted to share my experience of struggling with mental health. Not only for me but for anyone who has struggled and continues to struggle. I remember reading an article or a blog and thinking, “That’s how I feel.” I would feel less abnormal and alone.
Hearing their views and what had helped them would give me comfort that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I know it can feel like there isn’t, but there is. Reaching that light doesn’t mean all your problems are fixed, or you don’t have to continue to put the effort in once you see it; but it’s hope. Hope that there is a way out.
By creating this blog, I truly hope my words can do this for someone else, even if that someone else is me. The internet is such a vast place, with the ability to connect people from around the world. I would love to be part of a community where we love and support anyone struggling with mental health.
All it takes is a spark.
Are you also starting your healing journey? Or are you already on one? I’d love to hear your story. Reach out in the comments or just fill out a contact form!
