Have you ever focused on what you don’t have instead of what you do? Have you ever been consumed by a feeling that something is missing? Or have you ever thought you’d be so much happier if only you had this or that? If so, you’re not alone. I, like many others, have struggled with a scarcity mindset.
Where Does A Scarcity Mindset Come From?
A scarcity mindset is often the habitual belief that there is not enough, you will not have enough, or you will not be enough. It can overlap with the cognitive phenomenon we all have called the negativity bias. This is where we instinctually focus on the negatives.
From an evolutionary perspective, our brains focused on the danger to keep us safe. It’s a survival mechanism that is still in us and can still be helpful. Except when it gives us tunnel vision to all the bad things in life or what we’re missing. It’s not only a result of nature but also nurture. How we’re raised, experiences we go through, traumas we endure, and external messages we take in all contribute to this mentality. Our wounded parts end up believing, “We need this or that to feel better.” Or “We won’t stop feeling like this until We have XYZ.”
For example, a combination of upbringing, trauma, and societal messages caused me to become consumed with the “reality” that I would not be enough or happy until I had a relationship. This warped belief stopped me from truly recognising how blessed I already am for the souls I do have in my life and caused me to settle for not-so-nice people, in desperate search of the “one.”
Signs Of A Scarcity Mindset
Increasing your knowledge of this mindset will help increase your vigilance to the moments you’re caught up in it. Here are a few signs that I’ve seen in myself; maybe you can relate.
Comparing And Competing
I would compare myself to those around me, and more often than not I’d be the lesser of two.
Excessively Worrying About Money
Money is a huge stress, especially when you believe you don’t have enough of it. One of my biggest worries at the moment is not being able to afford a place of my own. Which causes me to believe I can’t be happy with where I’m at right now, despite still being able to meet my needs. It can hold us back from a level of peace that is actually accessible from within.
Feeling Inadequate Because Of What You Don’t Have
Not feeling enough is a big one for me. I find it challenging to feel worthy, simply because I am here. And fixating on who or what I don’t have in my life only exacerbates the issue.
The Accomplishments Of Others Triggers Insecurity
I try to be gentle on myself for the shame I feel admitting this one. I want to be wholeheartedly happy for others, and I am happy for them. But there are times it triggers me to feel sad as I’m reminded of how “less than” I see myself.
You Believe You Don’t Have A lot To Offer
So you sell yourself as such. I’m struggling with asking for more pay because part of me tells myself, “Who am I to ask for more money.”
Build An Abundance Mindset
The opposite of scarcity is abundance. It’s the belief that those “with” will not leave you “without,” because you trust there is enough and you will have enough because you are enough. Building an abundance mindset will take time and effort, especially when we’ve thought in a particular way for so long. But it will truly help us appreciate what we have already and how far we’ve already come.
I’ve incorporated the following practices into my life:
Regular Gratitude
“What you focus on, grows.” Training our brain to zone in on the good stuff isn’t about being oblivious to the fact that not-so-good stuff happens. It’s about choosing to find the diamonds in the ruff.
Mindfulness
Building the ability to introspect and pick up on those thoughts and behaviours that support the scarcity mindset helps separate us from the meaning we give them. Allowing us to redirect and mindfully choose better for us.
Positive Affirmations
This can be controversial. There are times I do feel like I’m reciting words for the sake of it. But when I find ones that I connect to, it’s like, “Woah.”
Accepting Love And Support From Others
It’s hard for me to truly believe that so many people love and support me already, but in those moments when I allow myself to trust, I’m reminded of how blessed I already am.
Be Kind For Kindness’ Sake
I find this one really helps remind me that it’s not always about what I can get from life, but what I can give. We all fight a battle no one knows about.
Filter Out Scarcity Mindsets
It can be hard to block out so much negativity. But learning how to tune out the close-mindedness around us helps protect our energy while we cultivate a mindset of abundance.
These all support my deeper mission of building self-worth because,
“To believe we have enough, we must believe we are enough.”
Can relate to this article? What helps you embrace abundance? I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment or just fill out a contact form!
To learn more about the scarcity mindset check out What Is a Scarcity Mentality? (choosingtherapy.com)
