So I came across ‘Kintsugi’ while I was going through my neurocycle, and I was fascinated.
Kintsugi (meaning “to join with gold”) is a centuries-old Japanese art form of repairing pieces of broken pottery back together with precious metals instead of discarding them. Not only is the result a visually aesthetic piece of art, but it also represents a deeper meaning of strength and healing.
The philosophy behind Kintsugi is to accept the past of an object, showing no shame but pride in its history. Yes, the item has experienced trauma and suffering, but by binding the pieces back together with a luminous lacquer, you create a transformed version of what it once was.
Kintsugi Signifies That We Are Not Unrepairable
I used to believe my damage was irreversible, with scars that would never heal. Since taking the time to reflect, I can now see that this could not be further from the truth. Yes, we have chips and cracks; life’s cruelty can cause our colours to fade, and sometimes we sadly discard ourselves when we feel there really is no point putting our pieces back together.
But even with fragile and fragmented parts, we are never unrepairable. Approaching our past with this metaphor is a beautiful way of seeing our traumas as moments in time. Yes, we have endured them, but we’ve also overcome them.
Understanding The Message Of Kintsugi
Highlighting the pot’s broken parts instead of disguising them shows us that in order to heal, we need to illuminate the darkness within us so we can begin to understand and process what we’ve gone through. We aren’t saying what has happened to us was right, but we know we must reframe our past to not be imprisoned by it.
Kintsugi is a long process. It takes time and patience to create something this visually delicate yet resilient. Pottery is often rested for weeks while the lacquer hardens. We are prone to wanting quick fixes or instant gratifications, but for us to truly become strong and healed, we need to do the repairs consistently and over time.
Yes, the golden branches that run through the repaired objects are scars, but when the light hits them just right, they shine all the same. Just like our scars, when we see them in a different light, we finally see them for what they are: our unique journey. Empowering reminders of how far we’ve come and how far we’ve grown.
The pottery may look similar to what it once was, but it is a completely new item. Reminding us that we are not fated to stay as we were; we are not our past mistakes or traumas. Through healing, we become greater than our previously wounded selves; we radiate our triumphs in who we evolve into.
While teaching us strength, Kintsugi reminds us that life is also fragile and imperfect. We have value and are valued just as we are, flaws and all. Maria Shriver said, “Perfectionism doesn’t make you feel perfect; it makes you feel inadequate”.
How can we bring Kintsugi into our lives?
Self-reflection
I could no longer carry the weight of all my shards. I needed to wake up and step back. Just as you would examine each fragment of pottery before the repair process, I needed to examine each fragment of my life.
I continue to face memories I wish I had forgotten. Traumas I resent, actions I regret, and decisions I have made. It is painful, but necessary.
Journaling
Journaling has been a huge part of my journey. I began by just venting on paper. It was clear too much had been bottled up. Which sparked my interest in other forms of therapeutic writing.
I then added in shadow work. A form of psychotherapy. I found books online that contained prompts that helped me uncover and understand deeper wounds. With my curiosity growing, I began uncovering more hidden gems that could aid my healing.
From this, I came across neuroplasticity and my current journal add-in of Neurocycling. I still free write, but this structured and science-based form of journaling helps me determine the trail of the toxic thought I am working on so I can change my mind and behaviours for the better.
Meditation and mindfulness
This has been invaluable for my emotional regulation while I heal and reflect. These moments of stillness and refocus have helped me wade through whatever comes up during this emotionally charged process and learn to notice instead of judge.
Self-acceptance
A seemingly impossible feat for many of us, including me. I continually remind myself that everything had to happen the way it did to bring me to where I am now. And like kintsugi, the repaired pottery has more meaning and intrinsic beauty because of what it has gone through, how it has been mended, and how it has evolved.
Since working hard on this, I have come to accept that we cannot erase our past, nor can we change it. Now I can feel genuinely grateful for what life has thrown at me. I have become who I am because of it. This doesn’t mean remembering what has happened doesn’t cause me discomfort at times, and it definitely isn’t a quick fix. Even getting to the place I am now has taken a lot of time, persistence, and commitment.
Self-talk
I no longer punish myself for moments where I should have known better, but see them as opportunities to be grateful that now I know better. Loving and understanding self-talk has helped me see scars as learning curves instead of failures. I still catch myself falling back into old patterns, but the key point here is that I catch myself. It does take consistency and awareness to make this change more habitual.
Mindset
Cultivating a positive, growth mindset is essential. Just as Kintsugi emphasises that brokenness is not final, neither are our wounds. By approaching it with a mindset of “so what are we going to do about it?” We can look for solutions to transform the hands we are dealt.
Kintsugi deeply resonates with me, and I hope with many others. Our trials and tribulations do not define us. We can either make or break from them.
It is up to us.
Have you heard of Kintsugi before? What do you think of Kintsugi’s deeper message? I’d love to hear your story. Just drop a comment or fill out a contact form!
To learn more about the art of Kintsugi check out Kintsugi: Japan’s ancient art of embracing imperfection – BBC Travel