Ah, a question that’s infuriated my mind. How to stop overthinking when you’re an overthinker? I would spend so much time trying to think my way out of my thoughts, just to get more entrenched. So if thinking our way out of our overthinking won’t work, what will?
First, Understand Why You Overthink
None of us actively try to overthink because it’s stress-inducing! But so many of us do. The thing is, thinking is a part of life. Whether they’re in the background or the forefront, our mind will think. This inevitable and unavoidable truth terrified me (and still does sometimes). But when we resist our thoughts, the spiral of overthinking tends to start.
The moment I realised I was thinking, my ears would prick up, like a mouse in the grass. My nervous system would dysregulate, and my fear responses would kick in. I’d find it hard to sit still, and my legs would physically feel the need to run. Like a reflex, this habit of fearing my thoughts caused me to develop a deep fear of thinking itself. Which caused me to avoid or distract from my thoughts in unhealthy ways. But the more I suppressed my thinking, the louder the thoughts became.
How To “Stop” Overthinking
So the truth is, if we come from a place of desperation, of wanting to stop our thoughts, we end up fighting a battle we’ll never win. Like the saying goes, “What we resist, persists.”
We need to approach this question, of “how to stop overthinking,” from a completely different angle.
Accept What Can’t Be Stopped
Once we acknowledge and accept that thoughts will pop into our heads, whether we want them to or not, we can shift our focus off trying to stop them and onto changing our relationship with them.
Go Into Your Body And Become Mindful
Overthinking is a habit. And the first step to breaking a habit is becoming aware of it. Mindfulness and meditation not only help you do this, but they also help redirect you onto a healthier path. I still catch myself overthinking, but the difference is I catch myself. With techniques such as breathing, labelling, and intentional muscle relaxing, we can be more conscious of our mind and body. So we don’t habitually entangle ourselves in them. Learning to be mindful is also proven to aid neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s ability to unlearn and rewire hurtful patterns into helpful ones.
Feel free to reach out to me if you’d like more in-depth info on the techniques I use.
Put Thought To Paper
The effects of journaling and writing out our thoughts are amazing for many reasons. Writing down my thoughts helps me separate enough from them, so I can start to lessen their charge. When thoughts are no longer overwhelming, you can start to challenge them from a place of calm.
Challenging thoughts go more into deep reflective writing. Which is just as important. Unpacking and understanding where a thought might have stemmed from can give you answers. With the help of reflective journal prompts, shadow work, and neurocycling, I’ve been able to better see which traumas cause me to overthink and why I overthink about certain things.
Self-talk
Self-talk is essential. And not just any self-talk, compassionate self-talk. Change what you say to yourself and how you say it. You’ll start to see how much you really listen. Regardless if what we tell ourselves is helpful or harmful, our mind keeps scores. I notice that my thoughts tend to grip more when I’m berating myself for having them.
This habit started from a reason, for a reason. Be gentle with yourself as you figure those reasons out.
Have you also struggled with overthinking? What helps you? I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment or just fill out a contact form!
More strategies to help your overthinking can be found Seven Strategies To Stop Overthinking – Talking Therapy (theawarenesscentre.com)
