Recently, I have been triggered. Multiple times. I was left shaken and afraid of the wounds still inside me. But it was also a necessary reminder to remain focused on healing these emotional triggers so that I no longer anxiously wait for the next one.
What Are Emotional Triggers?
Emotional triggers are more than just feeling an emotion. There are a survival response, a common consequence for those of us who have experienced prolonged childhood trauma and trauma in general. When a situation occurs that triggers an emotional stimulus, an almost habitual reaction occurs. You’re no longer reacting to just the person or situation that picked the scab off, but to all the memories that are leaking out of the wound.
Types Of Emotional Triggers
We can experience both internal and external triggers, and I do.
Internal emotional triggers, as expected, “come from within” us. They’re usually triggered by a thought, a sensation, or an emotion. The act of thinking has been a big trigger for me. Interesting, I know. For so long, my mind was in an endless cycle of reliving past pains and the painful emotions that went with them. So the thought of thinking puts my nervous system into panic mode.
External emotional triggers are connected to the environment outside of ourselves, such as a person, place, or smell. Something that seems insignificant to an untraumatized person may be agonising for us. For example, I had an argument with a someone close to me recently. It triggered such discomfort that I knew I was no longer responding to the present but reacting to the past. The flood of emotional pain caused me to shut down, indicative of the freeze-trauma response. Despite my conscious mind wanting to forgive and forget as quickly as possible, my nervous system felt so unsafe that I was unable to even look the “threat” in the eye.
How Are Emotional Triggers Formed?
Traumatic experiences are remembered differently in the brain and body. They are often much more intense than other memories, so when trauma occurs, “our brains tend to store the surrounding sensory stimuli” as well. When the brain is reminded of a traumatic memory, the body reactivates the senses that were involved at the time.
For me, when I notice a man (it could even be a stranger in a coffee shop), my body constricts. This often starts a domino effect by activating my flight-or-fight response because I feel unsafe. Then, the subconscious urge to neutralise the “threat” kicks in. See, I grew up feeling safe to feeling unsafe in an instant. Because of this, my inner child learned that if she had any chance of minimising that unpredictability, she had to do whatever was necessary to keep others happy and, more importantly, with her. Now, as an adult, I can recognise this trigger when that frantic drive to please reactivates.
How To Lessen The Impact Of Emotional Triggers?
The first step is acceptance. Trust me, I know how seemingly impossible this can be. I sometimes catch myself wishing that the past could be different and that I never experienced what I did. I think most of us who have gone through any pain, at times, wish we hadn’t. But the thing is, the past cannot be any different; it just can’t. It’s happened, and there is nothing that can ever be changed about that.
Accepting what was puts us in the mindset to practically figure out how to start responding to emotional triggers instead of reacting to them.
Self-Regulation Is Essential
When emotions are so intense, they feel excruciating. I can only speak from personal experience, but learning how to better regulate my emotions has been one of the biggest lifelines I have given myself. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be able to cope with my feelings until I made the conscious effort to teach myself self-regulation. (At the moment, I also watch videos from Crappy Childhood Fairy, which talk a lot about CPTSD and dysregulation.)
Not only does emotional regulation grant us more internal peace, but by learning how to sit with our emotions and wade out the storm helps us make better, kinder choices, not only for ourselves but also for those around us. I can give myself crucial seconds to see what exactly is triggering me and why, instead of impulsively giving into the trigger. (Don’t be too hard on yourself if you do slip up at times; so do I; I just remember we’re still healing.)
Practices that build emotional regulation are included here.
Get To Know Your Triggers
I’ve found that reflecting on why I’m being triggered in the first place helps separate the past from the present. Once we realise that an emotional trigger is coming from a memory 11 years ago, instead of right now, we start to feel safer because the past can’t physically hurt us anymore. This also helps us see that whatever or whoever is triggering us may not actually be out to get us like we think they are.
It’s easy to fall into the self-hating trap of criticising yourself for feeling triggered by a seemingly small situation. But try to grant yourself some self-compassion. When you’ve experienced such pain to begin with, it’s understandable that unhealed traumas will hurt you. It isn’t your fault that you weren’t treated lovingly all the time.
But once you are more aware that your past is still affecting your present, you have a chance to change how it plays out in your future.
Give yourself the life you deserved all along.
Do have emotional triggers? How do you cope? I’d love to hear your story. Let me know in the comments or just fill out a contact form!
