In the moments where I experience emotional overload, I’m reminded of how non-linear healing is. I don’t feel engulfed by my emotions nearly as much as I used to, but when it does happen, panic sets in. So this week’s post is a reminder (more for myself!) to be compassionate when we do become emotionally overwhelmed. And how can we bring the derailed train back to the station quicker next time?
What Is An Emotional Overload?
Feeling weighed down by our emotions happens to all of us. You don’t have to have a traumatic history to experience emotional overload. But from personal experience, I believe the effect trauma has on us affects how intense the overload feels, how long it lasts, and how able we are to ride the wave out in a way that is helpful and healthy to us and those around us.
Emotional overload, or overwhelm, is so much more than feeling stressed out. You’re overloaded by emotions, to the point that they affect your whole state—emotionally, mentally, and physiologically. It can be terrifying because the emotions take on a life of their own; you don’t feel strong enough to fight them off, and they can feel like they’re suffocating you, literally.
The Science Behind An Emotional Overload
Understanding what happens during an emotional overload helped me see how damaging staying in that state is. Not just to our mind, but to our brain and body as well.
When we’re emotionally overloaded, the left part of our brain (which is responsible for logic and reasonable thinking) goes dim. And the right side of our brain (which is responsible for emotional processing and responding) fires up. This gives our body’s sympathetic nervous system the green light, even when it’s not needed.
In my post, “Dysregulated Nervous System? How To Start Calming Yourself”, I discuss the consequences of having a chronically triggered sympathetic nervous system. Even after a threat has passed and we’re out of danger, our body continues to react as if we’re not. Stress hormones like cortisol continue to flow, and we remain hyper or hypo aroused. Our system keeps us on high alert or in a “play dead” state.
What Can Cause Emotional Overload
Emotional overload can be triggered in moments of high stress (such as arguments), if you experience sudden life changes (such as losing someone), or it can build over time from repeated or multiple stressors. The causes are subjective.
For me, being triggered is where emotional overload tends to happen. When I’m triggered, a simultaneous domino effect of thoughts, memories, emotions, and sensations flares up. And within seconds, I’m in an emotional flashback. Thankfully, since working on myself, these flashbacks are a lot less frequent or prolonged. I’ve also noticed that if there are conflicting feelings going off at once, I feel more overwhelmed.
Signs You’re Experiencing Emotional Overload
This isn’t a definitive list of signs, because we are all different and show up in different ways. But these tend to be the more common signs (which I’ve experienced myself):
We Have Reactions That Are Disproportionate To The Situation
Yes, the situation may be upsetting, but the intensity at which you’re reacting to it is excessive. And it doesn’t only have to be angry outbursts. It could be excessive crying, etc.
Our Ability To Think And Make Rational Choices Is Challenged
When you are engulfed in your emotions, they can cloud your perception, and you start thinking based on those distorted emotions rather than your logical mind.
We Struggle To Focus
Emotional overload can trigger fear responses. And the inability to focus and perform, even simple tasks, would be your freeze response kicking in.
We Start To Isolate
When you’re swamped by your emotions, you can start to feel defective, like, “Why can’t I cope?” “Why is no one struggling like me?” At least these are some of the devaluing, untrue thoughts I would tell myself. This belief would make me want to hide from the world.
Our Emotions Physically Overwhelm Us
When I’m in the midst of an emotional overload, I really feel it in my body. Like a snake wrapping around its prey, I feel constricted and unable to escape.
We Can Feel Hopeless
When you’re feeling all your feelings, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It can feel like the pain will never end.
How To Reground Yourself In An Emotional Overload?
First, acknowledge that you’re experiencing emotional overload. I know this sounds too simple, but I’ve found it can help me to separate just enough to start implementing my tools.
Learn To Self-Regulate
I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be able to cope with my feelings until I made the conscious effort to teach myself self-regulation. By learning how to regulate yourself in your moments of calm, you’ll be more able to use those skills in your moments of chaos. You can start to give yourself the crucial seconds needed to simmer back down. (Don’t be too hard on yourself if you do slip up at times; so do I; I just remember we’re still healing.) I’ve been doing this through the practices I discuss on the “my tools” page.
Explore Polyvagal Techniques
Such as breathing exercises and mindfulness. They can jumpstart the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps get you into a calm enough state to reground and refocus.
Write
Strange one, right? Who has the capacity to write when you’re overtaken by your emotions? But it can be pretty powerful. Writing out your thoughts and feelings instead of verbally vomiting them out uses different parts of the brain. “The prefrontal cortex, the area associated with higher-order thinking and decision-making, becomes activated.” I use the daily practice taught by the Crappy Childhood Fairy (for free!). When I’m in an emotional crisis. I’m scribbling down at a hundred miles an hour, but I can almost feel the overload calming down. It may spike back up, so I just keep writing.
This isn’t a be-all-end-all list of techniques. More practices that continue to help me can be found throughout this blog site. They go into more detail and give how-to advice, such as on my “how to journal” page!
The key, I think, is to start doing the work when you’re calm. So that when you actually do need these tools, you’ll be more able to use them.
Do you struggle with feeling overloaded with your emotions? What helps you? I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment or just fill out a contact form!
