There are often two types of minds in this world. A fixed vs growth mindset can determine if you remain stuck or if you choose to embrace change. I was once someone who had lost hope that change was possible. After so many hits, I just believed it wasn’t in the cards for me.
So What Separates A Fixed Vs Growth Mindset?
Those with a fixed mindset tend to believe their talents can’t be improved. They are either born with them or they’re not. They either pull the short straw or they don’t. Those with a growth mindset believe that these skills can be developed with practice and hard work.
Fixed mindsets tend to only be outcome-focused. Which I was. If I couldn’t be guaranteed things working out, then I’d either be afraid to try. Or riddled with anxiety if I did. Growth mindsets, on the other hand, can appreciate the journey even before they’ve reached their goal.
Fixed Minds Also View Failure Differently
Instead of being able to view it as a lesson, they see it as confirmation of what they already believe. That they are failures. When I look back, I remember this feeling all too well. A feeling of defeat. A soul-crushing reminder that “See Faith, you shouldn’t have even bothered. What a waste of time.” Believing I was, at my core, a failure, only added to the guilt and shame that I continued to carry. Of not feeling enough.
Now, those with a growth mindset can still have this thought, but the difference is, it’s fleeting. Instead, they can understand that failures are part of the process, but they do not define them. They reach a level of acceptance where they don’t remain stagnant; they push on. They persist.
Unfortunately, those with a fixed mindset find it harder to move forward like this. Setbacks can shake their already fragile confidence. My “flaws” and “mistakes” made me less likely to take on a challenge. I didn’t want to feel more worthless than I already did. But this avoidance of failure also prevented the possibility of growth.
What I’ve Also Noticed Between The Two Mentalities,
Seeing as I’ve now experienced both, is that the success of others affects both mindsets differently. Those with a fixed attitude are more likely to compare themselves to others, feeling jealous of their successes. I remember the suffocating feeling of inferiority. When someone was praised in front of me or someone succeeded and not me; I felt threatened. Like the small rug of confidence I did own would now be pulled out from under me. Because I was being reminded that yet another person was better than me.
Now, I feel genuine happiness and love for those who succeed around me. I’m proud and excited for them that they are believing in themselves enough to go for goals. I no longer worry as much about the success of others stealing my self-worth. I now see how my own value is found from within.
Another Difference Between A Fixed Vs Growth Mindset Is How Feedback Received
Those with a fixed mindset find it hard to not take feedback personally. Instead of taking it constructively, it is often believed to be a deeper attack on their intrinsic value. I get it; it does hurt to have us “called out” and have our “imperfections” seen by others. I remember feeling the wave of embarrassment and the physical heat fill my body when I received criticism. It was almost impossible to see it as advice. It became another screw-up to add to my never-ending list of screw-ups.
But once you embrace a growth mindset, you find it easier to be less sensitive to comments and criticism. You become better at seeing the benefit of hearing where you could adjust. As it’ll mean you’ll be able to grow more, which benefits you.
Since working on building a growth mindset, I have noticed I’m quicker at recognising when I’m taking comments personally. I can talk myself down and lower those hackles when I feel “picked on.” I can remind myself, that this is not a shot at my self-worth, because that only comes from me. So now that I know this, can I see if their advice is actually helpful?”
Fixed Vs Growth Mindset: Are You Stuck With What You Have?
I’ve touched on neuroplasticity before. The brain re-moulds based on things like experiences and patterns. This knowledge has helped me realise the truth: that there is hope. Hope that we can change.
There are many ways you can start to embrace a growth mindset. But I’ll just get the ball rolling by mentioning these three practices. They have helped me shift to a more empowering attitude.
First Things First, Determine What Mindset You’re Currently Allowing
Understanding how and why my mind became a certain way has really helped me. I have made sense of why I was thinking the way I was. I did this through practices like journaling and shadow work (check out further tools here).
If You’ve Been Stuck In A Cycle Of Beating Yourself Up Over Every Mistake And Mishap,
telling yourself, “What was the point?”. Or something similar that chips away at your self-worth, then you need to learn how to 180 your self-talk.
I was my own worst critic. When I remember what I used to tell myself repeatedly, it makes me feel deeply sad. I was the one person who was supposed to love and support Faith unconditionally, and I didn’t. Since I’ve shifted my inner dialogue, I feel like I’ve been able to redeem myself. Slowly but surely, my self-belief has been improving enough for me to want to put in the work and grow.
And Then There’s Actually Putting The Effort In, Day In And Day Out
Daily practices, whether big or small, are where the change develops more autonomy. Since committing to my daily healing, I have been able to reflect on areas and see the difference. I catch myself and think, “Woah, I wouldn’t have done that before.” So on the days where I slip up or notice old habits,
I remember those glimmers, and I keep going.
Have you learnt anything from this post? Which mindset do you have? I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment or just fill out a contact form!
